Best. Spam. Ever.

Ah, the joys of having an online pseudonym that’s completely irrelevant to anything…

Dear Gasman,

I am Mr. Alex Ibe, an accountant with one of the reputable banks in
Nigeria. I was also an account officer to late Mr. Gary Gasman, a national of your country who was a contractor with Nigeria Liquefied Natural Gas Company (NLNG). On 18th May 2003, Mr. Gary his wife and their two Children were involved in a car accident along Kaduna-Abuja express road.

All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have been trying to locate any of Mr. Gary’s extended relatives, but this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence this proposal to you in other to assist repatriate the money left behind by late Mr. Gary before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by my bank.

You can guess the rest.

I’m in two minds as to whether it’s a straight cut-and-paste job, or whether this guy spent some time lovingly hand-crafting this tale of Mr Gasman who works for a gas company. I really wish it’s the latter.

5 Responses to “Best. Spam. Ever.”

  1. F6 says:

    big lol! :)

  2. F6 says:

    big lol :))))

  3. F6 says:

    oh, sorry for spam, but seems that opera has problems with posting comments here. sorry again and congratulations to mr. alex ibe that he found you :)

  4. poke says:

    “Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind than in the one where they sprang up.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes.

    Try reply this:
    Dear Alex Ibe,

    I’m Mr. Gary Gasman, an accountant with one of the reputable banks in
    United Kingdom (Royal Sinclair’s ZX Spectrum Bank). I was also an account officer to late Mr. Umbwa Ibe, a national of your country (Nigeria) who was a contractor with United Kingdom Housecleaner League (UKHL). On 128th May 2006, Mr. Umbwa his wife and their two sweet Children (Ula and Ay) were involved in a bike accident along Stonehenge subway road.

    All occupants of the bike-vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have been trying to locate any of Mr. Umbwa’s extended relatives, but this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the spammernet, to locate any member of his family hence this proposal to you in other to assist repatriate the money left behind by late Mr. Umbwa before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by my bank.

    Have a nice day Mr. Gary Gasman.

  5. icabod says:

    Or just go with: “WTF?! I’m dead?”

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