Paris Hilton And Her Monkey

So February Album Writing Month is over for another year, and I’ve been completely slacking by not posting songs up here. But to kick things off, here’s a song which I wrote way back in the mists of 2008, but went unrecorded for a good while after that. It pioneered the soon-to-be-ubiquitous trend of writing songs titled after the subject lines of spam, and this recording comes courtesy of the New Year’s Eve open mic at the Old Bookbinders, Oxford.

Download matt_westcott_-_paris_hilton_and_her_monkey_-_bookbinders.mp3

There was a girl with a million dollar smile
and a million dollar reason why
Everybody loved her
Everybody loved her style

Her agent had been telling her for a while
that in order to enhance her media profile
she should sponsor a panda
or an orphan from Rwanda
Show her caring side

But due to an unfortunate mixup
too convoluted to go into here
she received a monkey
by overnight delivery
and now it’s crystal clear

Paris Hilton and her monkey
They’re gonna be the best of friends
She wants to call him Trevor
and when they’re both together
The fun and games will never end
Paris Hilton and her monkey
They go to all the best parties
They’re seeking out the open-minded nightclubs
that don’t have a No Monkeys policy

They’re going off on a great escape
in search of shoe shops and banana milkshake
cause he’s a cheeky monkey
and she’s too frisky to mention

The paparazzi follow them with glee
As they watch them swing from tree to tree
Until she chips a fingernail
and has to call for medical attention

Paris and Trevor forever
So innocent and carefree
Beautiful and happy
the modern-day epitome
of everything I’d like to be

except for all the sex tapes and drunk driving offences

[Chorus]

2 Responses to “Paris Hilton And Her Monkey”

  1. nattie says:

    Oh, *rather*!

  2. Paris Hilton…you like her or you will hate her. I still must carry out my final judgement…lol. However I’m keen on her doggy :-)

Leave a Reply